Just Look At The Facts And Stats Of This Season (Shocking Reading)

As a Newcastle supporter and blogger I could so easily start writing another essay about how dog awful our season is and explain to you how non-existent our tactics are, why Pardew's insufferable excuses make me want to scream, or that why not investing in the team in the summer was a major mistake etc. But I wont, not yet anyway. With a third of the season gone I will just stick to facts and look upon our club objectively. Leaving my opinion out of it. (for now).

• If Newcastle lose at Stoke on Wednesday they will have the same amount of points after as many games as the season they got relegated. 14 after 14.
• We have scored 4 less goals than at the same stage in our relegation season. 13 now, 17 then. 
• Newcastle have won one game out of the last eight. Which was via Papiss Cisse's backside vs WBA. Otherwise it would be 1 in 12.
• Newcastle are the only team to have yet to score from a set piece this season.
• Newcastle have scored once in the last 240 corners. The last coming over a year ago in October 2011.
• Newcastle have scored from 2 headers this season. However, one of which was Demba Ba's handball v Reading. Take this one away and they have the joint lowest in the Premier League.
• Since Alan Pardew joined Newcastle 2 years ago, they are yet to win any Premier League game after going behind.
• Newcastle statistically average the most long balls per game, have played the most long balls overall and have the highest percentage of long balls played within total number of passes. EPL Index
• Newcastle have kept just one clean sheet in the league thus far.
• Newcastle have not managed to score more than 2 goals in a PL game since beating Stoke 3-0 on April 21st.
• Since Alan Pardew signed his 8 year contract Newcastle have won 6 out of 24 points. Only bottom club QPR have picked up less in same period.
• Newcastle have played the 3 promoted teams this season and have failed to win any of them. Losing 2.
• Newcastle have made an average of 7.5 changes to their Europa league team to the one that played in the Premier League.
• Newcastle have not lined up in the 4-3-3 system with Ba LW, Cisse CF & Ben Arfa RW once this season which helped them go on a 6 game winning streak at the end of last season.
• Out of the recognised starting XI. Only Cabaye, Ben Arfa & Steven Taylor are officially injured.

Basically what the above demonstrates is the following. 

1. Injuries are not to blame for Newcastle's failing season as they have had the majority of their first team players to choose from all season. No team has a fully fit XI every single week. Not even the teams Newcastle have lost to. Swansea were missing key defenders Taylor (LB) and Chico (CB) for example in the 2-1 home loss. 
2. The Europa League is not to blame for the failing league season, as Pardew makes at least 7 changes for every game. 10 in total in some cases. A lack of one training session midweek does not justify the performance levels.
3. The set pieces are non-existent. But what is most infuriating is the lack of change. Pardew and the team still insist on the 'kick it towards Willo to head back across goal' with every free kick. Where as the corners are just a waste of time. No movement whatsoever. Inexcusable. 
4. The best system and line up is not being used. Pardew has insisted with 4-4-2 all season and blatantly refuses to play the correct formation every man and his dog would otherwise use. With absolutey no explanation and blatant denial.
5. The team just kick it long. Not because they have the players that suit this style, but through cowardice. They are too afraid to pass the ball and instead resort to the English default mode of 'hoof it'.
6. Newcastle are in relegation form. When you consider they have Stoke away, Fulham away, Man City, Man Utd away & Arsenal away in 5 of their remaining 7 games of 2012. They will most likely be in the relegation zone come the start of 2013.

Now for my opinion: 

What's most baffling and incredibly scary about the situation Newcastle find themselves in, is that the manager ultimately responsible for this epic failing, is locked into an 8 year contract. So he couldn't be relieved of his duties even if the club wanted to. It's sheer and utter madness. We all know it would happen eventually and sure enough Mike Ashley and Derek Llambias strike again!

These two clowns are ultimately accountable for what this football club is going through at the minute. They failed to bring in the players that were needed to not only improve the team but to compete in Europe as well. We all know we needed reinforcements. The needed players were there and willing to join. Debuchy and Douglas practically booked their own flights to Newcastle airport. However, MA an DL failed to bring them in, even with the very affordable £12 million that would have seen them sign. Disgraceful.

Along with this lack of investment they decided to unnecessarily lock the manager into an unsackable contract that has every Toon fan hoping has clauses in it to sack the manager if need be without huge costs. Pardew had 4 years left on his 5 and a half year deal so his situation didn't need extending. If it ain't broke don't fix it. What this 8 year deal has brought, in my opinion, is complacency. Pardew has the licence to do whatever he likes, whether it fails or not, safe in the knowledge that his position will never be jeopardy. A positive man would embrace this with confidence and use it as room to attack and try things, knowing the club back him. A negative man would look at this with contempt and abuse it with complacency, knowing the club cant sack him. Where a Kevin Keegan with his 10 year deal is the former, an Alan Pardew with his 8 year deal is definitely the latter.

He has lost the hunger. He has lost the edge. He has lost the determination to prove why he was given the job unexpectedly in the first place. He now has an attitude of contempt. Resting on his laurels from the success he had last year and his LMA award. Pardew is a man who automatically thinks negative. He has shown that since he arrived. This 'what if' negativity has been passed onto the players. No longer does he line the team up in a 4-3-3 system with the philosophy to out play the opposition. He instead lines the team up in a 4-4-2 system with no philosophy whatsoever and resorts to cowardly kicking the ball up the field. The deflecting excuses he uses to cover up the actual problems, that he himself has created, are not helping. All they do is prolong the agony. Until he changes back into the man of last year, this situation will only get worse.

Alan Pardew is also Mike Ashley and Derek Llambias' perfect puppet. A man that can conjure up an excuse, no matter how illogical or nonsensical, to cover up the actual problems and reality of the situation. When Mike Ashley or Derek Llambias refuse to speak publicly, they send out puppet Pardew to do it for them. The last thing Ash and Derek want is for a manager to question them and bang on their door looking for answers. When Ash and DL failed in this summer's window did Pardew rightfully complain? No. He claimed it was a successful transfer window. Why? Because we held on to our players. These words were merely a PR stunt. NUFC failed in this summer's window. The two crony's let down their puppet.

This is exactly the kind of propaganda Ash and Derek want spewed out to the gormless fans (in their eyes). They know no matter what the club says, a large proportion of fans will automatically accept it. No matter how ridiculous it is. Giving any manager an 8 year contract is a classic example. The club say it brings stability, most fans have accepted it and even agree. It's nonsense. If you want stability, then don't sack the manager. It's thats simple. You don't need to give him an unsackable contract. If you don't want to sack him, then don't. Unfortunately most football fans in general are just sheep. Sheep that follow their team no matter what without complaint. They will follow blindly into the abyss and attack anyone who suggests otherwise.

I am not a sheep. I will speak out as much as I can until something changes. Do I have any influence over whether a change will come? Not likely. Should that stop me speaking out? Not in the slightest. This football club under this leadership of silent owner, incompetent chairman and puppet manager will drag itself back into the depths that preceded relegation in 2009. Let's not forget it was this administration that took us there. Are we financially better off? Yes, undoubtedly. Are we in a much better place as a football team ie in Europe? Yes, undoubtedly. Was last season a one off and will be wrecked instantaneously to nothing but a memory rather than a platform to build? Yes, undoubtedly.

Last season was great. We had some cracking results and scored some unbelievable goals. I suggest you buy the DVD of the season review because it will be the last season you will see of it's kind under this administration. This season has been dreadful and is only going to get worse. European qualification to the knockout rounds will only mask over the deep cracks for a little while. Until we are inevitably knocked out in a round or two. Pardew has an abysmal record in the domestic cups at this club and nothing suggest's this season will be any different. We're already out the League Cup first time of asking.

Our league season is already a write off in late November. There is no chance of finishing in the top 6. The only 'achievement' we can gain from the league this year is to avoid relegation. Our only chance of qualifying for Europe again and building on last season's achievement comes in the shape of winning a trophy or at least getting to the final. Only a remarkable lucky draw throughout the FA Cup could achieve this. The odds of us avoiding a quality opponent at some stage in Europe is almost impossible. We can't even beat Reading or Southampton. We will not beat Atletico Madrid or Napoli.

Whether you whole-heartedly agree or stubbornly disagree. This season is proving that Alan Pardew is not the right man to take this football club to the next level. In fact, he is taking us back down to the level we were before we gained promotion back to the Premier League. No result, performance, stat, fact, team selection, set piece, laughable excuse suggests otherwise. If this were a simple case of not matching last season's impressive achievements, than that would be acceptable. Not ideal but nothing to panic over. But it isn't. It's beyond that, way beyond. Three defeats in a row with the fixtures we have to come until the end of the year, suggests that when we're all singing Auld Lang Syne, Newcastle United will be in the relegation zone.

As long as Ashley and Llambias are still here to make their inconceivable mistakes, like giving a man with no previous achievement as a manager an 8 year contract based on one season and just so he can continue to be their perfect puppet of propaganda, then I will forever speak out. I don't know if it is acceptable again yet to start the 'Ashley Out' chants, but if anyone wants to start, you have my full support.

Last season was good. I hope you all enjoyed it. I know I did. Remember it well because it will be the last season to be proud of for a while. Maybe even for 8 years. Are you prepared to wait that long?

The day I sit silently in my seat when the bus driver is heading straight over a cliff, is the day I deserve to die. Even if he has stopped for ice cream on the way.

Follow me on Twitter @ToonBano

Inexplicable Maritimo Result Sums Up NUFC's Failing Season

Just so we are clear on what happened on Thursday night to avoid any confusion or cover up. A team that are in the bottom 6 in the Portuguese league and bottom of our Europa League group, bring a team without starting their captain, top scorer or best striker because they 'know' they aren't going to win the game, who have given up all hope of qualifying from the group, who get slated by the Portuguese press for not taking this game seriously enough, who only bring 36 fans with them due to their small size and nasty travel arrangements...take home a draw. They take home a draw from a game that if we had won, could have seen us win the group. We fail to beat a team that are the whipping boys in the group, who didn't even start their strongest team and who had given up all hope of even trying to qualify before a ball was even kicked. That is what happened on Thursday night? Just so we are all clear.

Ok then. So where do you begin with this one. Actually, is it even worth going into? Does anyone even care any more? Because at the end of the day, we have still qualified for the knock out rounds. So let's start there shall we? Congratulations Mr Pardew and to the players for progressing from the group stage into the last 32. Also congratulations to Sylvain Marveaux scoring his first competitive goal in our colours. I suppose the other good thing was seeing the team start in the familiar 4-2-3-1 formation we have come to expect from European nights. With 'Benny in the hole' to boot. Which is encouraging.

Unfortunately the pat on the back time ends there. Thursday night was a glaring example of Newcastle United's failings this season. It pretty much summed up our season thus far and exposed the frighteningly weak characteristics this team seems to be made up of. You can sum things up with the following:

• One decent half. One terrible half.
• No killer instinct.
• Lack of winning mentality.
• Complete lack of confidence.
• Afraid of what the opposition might do.
• Injuries. More of them.
• Inability to pass the ball to each other.
• Lethargic. Almost uninterested.
• 'Lets hold onto what we have' policy.
• Wilfully encouraging the opposition to have a go at us.
• Injecting inferior opposition with confidence.
• Unexplainable starting line up. (Why was Ben Arfa on the pitch?)
• Baffling substitutions. (Why did Ba then get risked when Amalifitano is available?)
• Complete no-show from set pieces.

I could go on.

Before the game had even started I was left flabbergasted, again, by our manager's pre-match interview. He told ESPN this:

"It depends on the other game tonight about what we need. A draw might be enough for us to qualify. We will be keeping tabs on the other game"

What?! What in God's name are you going on about? Seeing as we were top of the group and facing the whipping boys at home, we should have been 100% focussed on winning the game. The whole group was in our hands, never mind just qualifying. The other game was insignificant to us. If then the news comes through that Bordeaux have lost to Brugges then that would give us the added bonus of winning the group with a game to spare. No? Am I talking nonsense here? Or is it our manager again? What kind of a manager is even remotely interested in other games when their team is in the box seat? Does Fergie care one bit about other results when his team are top of the league? Of course not. Why would he? Why would anybody? Is this the kind of nonsense that Pardew tells his players before a more than winnable game against massively weak opposition? 'We might only need the draw tonight lads, don't do anything stupid'. What kind of a mentality is that? It probably explains the total no-show from our team as an attacking threat in that second half. We're 1-0 up so let's just 'keep what we have'. Its pathetic. It's debilitating. Its completely unnecessary.

How many times did king waffler Chris Waddle say, "Maritimo have nothing in the final third. They haven't hurt Newcastle once."? How many time did he say that in the first half? 4? 5? It was true. Maritimo had nothing. They had the square root of zero as an attacking threat to us. So for us not to have won that game at a canter is a total disgrace. The players are to blame for this as much as anybody, but this kind of mentality has been born through our manager. We have seen this negative mentality from Pardew ever since he walked in the door. Last year he got away with it more often then not. The Wolves 2-2 draw was the only real glorified example to look at to show when this negative mentality comes back to bite you on the arse.

Our biggest win last season was by a 3 goal margin. Ironically, we put Man Utd to the sword with a 3-0 hammering. But we failed to even try to do it to the lesser teams when they were there for the taking. When Chris Hughton was in charge and we hammered Sunderland 5-1, if Pardew had been in charge for that game, you just know he would have shut up shop at half time. Keep the 3-0 lads and don't do anything stupid. He did this against West Brom at the end of that season and cost us 3 places in the table as they came back to draw 3-3 from being 3-0 down at half time. I find his lack of killer instinct and putting teams to the sword when they deserve it insufferably pathetic. I would expect that kind of crap from Fat Sam and look what happened to him as NUFC manager. Rightfully kicked out the door with his negativity with him.

My site is starting to look like a constant Pardew bashing session, which is not what I want to achieve. But why should his blatant failings be masked over because of the fear of sounding like a broken record? Why should he get away with this? Mike Ashley has developed the 'broken record' syndrome which is why nobody is allowed to criticise him anymore because people have heard it all before and it gets boring. Well I am bored. I am bored of bashing Pardew after every game we fail in. I want us to win. I want us to win our Europa League group. I don't want to be writing about how Pardew picked Ben Arfa against all logical reasoning and he inevitably picked up an injury that will see him out for 2 weeks. Just in case you missed what Pards said about Ben Arfa prior to the game vs Maritimo, than here it is:

"Hatem has been our best player this season. Most fans would agree. Maybe it's because he hasn't been playing midweek in the European games. Maybe having him fresh has helped him for the weekend"

So what does he do immediately after saying this? He starts him in a European game. Not just any European game. At home against the whipping boys of the group. A game in which I would expect our under-21 team to put to one side. Benny certainly won't be fresh for this weekend's game as he is now injured. Absolutely incredible. Where will his epic failures end? When he finally gets his marching orders, or in 8 years time? Or maybe it will be when one of those big clubs prize him away with a big cash settlement for the club to bank.

When Chelsea sacked their manager this week I am sure you were all thankful of the lack of interest they showed in our manager. It must have been because he is on such a long contract. The strategy of tying our manager down to an irrational long term contract to stop others prizing him away, really does work doesn't it? Derek and Ash have been proven right on that one. Although in reality we all know Chelsea wouldn't in their right minds go after Pardew because they know as well as we do, Pardew is no-where near good enough for them. In fact, I dont even think bottom of the league QPR are remotely interested in our manager, even if he publicly declared himself interested. This 8 year contract is insane and looks more of a joke with every game that goes by. Some people say they're clauses in the contract in case of certain goals not met, well I guess we will find out at the end of this season won't we?

But thats enough Pardew bashing for one day. The team were awful in that second half. They can have no excuses. I don't care what instructions they were given at half time. Their total lack of even threatening to be a decent football team was frightening. Demba Ba looked completely uninterested.  He hadn't even got himself ready to come on by the time he stepped onto the pitch. Tim Krul got beat with a shot he would normally keep out in a Premier League game. Thats two in a row in Europe now. Maybe it's best to stick with Elliot in goal for the Euro games, he seems more hungry for it. And maybe thats the answer. Our senior players just dont look hungry for the Europa league. When Obertan, Sammy and Ferguson have been given their chance to shine on a Thursday night, they have grabbed it with both hands. Obertan being missing last night and Fergie not even coming off the bench showed. I never thought I would say this but I would much have preferred Shola to have been available than Ba, as he wants to perform in Europe. Demba just looks like he would rather be watching it on the telly.

Our Euro campaign is now faltering like our league campaign. Brugge away and Maritimo were embarrassing on the whole. Trust me, Bordeaux are laughing right now. They can't believe their luck. I just hope when we reach the knock out rounds in the new year our football team has had a complete turnaround in performance, but even more importantly, mentality. The sheer mental weakness of the team from manager to players is very alarming. Pardew has managed to kill any optimism and momentum we had built up from last seasons campaign. That is some achievement considering how strong we were. Yes we have a few injuries, but that does not excuse the total defeatist attitude we have as a club right now. Souness tried that once. Much like Fat Sam I have already mentioned, look what happened to him.

Just think on Pards when you start saying things like, "I have looked at my board and we have 10 senior players out injured". Facts are that if Jonas and Cisse shake off their knocks for Sunday, then you will have 8 out of the recognised starting 11 players available. Coloccini's suspension adding to only the Cabaye and Ben Arfa's injuries. Be careful going down this road of using injuries as an excuse. The ghost of Souness still haunts our old training ground...

Follow me on Twitter @ToonBano