Monday, 16 May 2016

Newcastle's Performance Versus Spurs Was The Most Disgraceful Of The Season!

I have never been so angry at a 5-1 win in all my life. Newcastle romped their way through 'the best team in the league' Spurs like a dog on heat, even with 10 men. From this performance comes the blatant question of 'Where the hell have you been all season?!'

Only after we are confirmed as a Championship side do the senior players tagged with the
responsibility of performing decide to show the world what they are capable of? Its a total disgrace on every level. Don't get me wrong I am pleased that Rafa has more to think about when deciding whether to stay or go but he wouldn't be making the decision if we had played anywhere near that on Sunday all season. We would be comfortably a Premier League team.

Even during Rafa's previous 9 games the team didn't have as much desire, drive and overall genuine quality which would have easily brought more points and Premier League survival, so it's not all down to McClaren being totally incompetent (which he was) for the football club finishing 18th in the league. There is no way on earth we are worse then the West Brom's, Crystal Palace and indeed the mackems of this world. Relegation was totally avoidable.

Playing Devil's Advocate you could argue if we were mid-table all season then McClaren would still be here and Rafa would never have come to us. This may be true but as I write this Rafa is speaking to Mike Ashley discussing whether he wants to bother going through a Championship season, working under Charnley and the Fat Man himself which will be one hell of a slog. He knows he will get offers from other Premier League teams with money to spend.

So he might leave us anyway with the likes of Nigel Pearson coming in and lowering our standards to new depths. Lets hope to God Rafa has been persuaded by the Toon Army constantly singing his name and signing a petition as well using up perfectly good bed sheets to persuade him to stay. With him staying, you can expect a strong group of players staying also to play for him. If he goes, expect a mass exodus.

Speaking of a strong group however, the players who put a shift in against Spurs were applauded off the pitch. I would have been more tempted to boo them off and scream 'where have you been all season?' if I were interested in coming anywhere near St James' Park under Ashley's regime. Which I'm not. 9 years and counting my self-imposed boycott has been going and it wont end until Ashley is gone. So the questions burns for following:

Sissoko, Janmaat, Wijnaldum, Mitrovic, Colback & Tiote where have you been when the going got tough? In fact, where were you when the going wasn't even that bad?

Sissoko has scored one goal all season. Once. The captain and leader supreme was man of the match
against Spurs and given a standing ovation as he left the field. I was sick slightly in my throat. Janmaat has been a shambles the year and has even gone AWOL since his 'injury' at Southampton. He conveniently was suddenly fit now that we're down with suitors looking into his signature, didn't he do well?

Gini Wijnaldum has only turned up against the league top teams at home this year. His stats are staggering. 11 goals all at home against Spurs, Man Utd, Chelsea, Liverpool, Southampton (5th) & West Ham (7th). He even went top quality against Norwich and scored 4 in one game. FOUR. Where the hell has this obviously talented player been against the also rans of the Premier League? Where has he been in every away game? He will definitely get his move in the summer and will probably be in the Champions League. Incredible.

We like Mitrovic, that's clear but he demonstrated on Sunday what he is capable of when given good service. He has wasted so many chances this season that his goals tally of 9 is pretty pathetic. This lack of cutting edge has been key in confirming relegation. His header directly against the league's best centre back Alderweireld that made it 2-0, was something he should have been consistently doing all season. There is no excuses of being young, or raw or inexperienced. If you can head the ball like that those things don't come into it. I think he will stay and I hope he finally shows consistency in the Championship. We will need it.

Colback has been a shadow of last season. One reason being McClaren tried to use him purely as a holding midfielder, shackled to only standing in front of the 2 centre backs. This is a poor excuse to be honest. I don't know the full reason why he has made his England call up a joke but since Rafa came in he has looked better. Still no Ginger Pirlo though I'm afraid. The Championship may bring the best out of him.

Now Mr Tiote. He has been decent in the last few games. However he still insists on thinking he is Maradona by trying to take players on in the middle of the pitch, which he inevitably is closed down and dispossessed. He also insists on fouling people for no reason giving away needless free kicks which we struggle to defend against. He cant be ignored however, I don't really care how he's played under Rafa, the bloke down tools and faked injuries all season under McClaren. The man is a disgrace and the sooner he is shipped off to China the better.

I could go through the whole squad but the key men above in the final third (Janmaat is never a
defender) have cost us dear. We couldn't defend under McClaren and had injuries to TWO goalkeepers and other defenders, especially left back, which contributed to our demise. Getting the ball in the net and at least being competitive is the real reason we are down. Weak mentality and gutless cowardice has been shared by all this season and it truly has been a shambles.

Sunday's 'epic' performance and result only showed that even more so in case anyone was in doubt.

Please stay Rafa.

Bring on The Championship.

Follow me @ToonBano

Thursday, 12 May 2016

Mike Ashley Will Sell Newcastle Utd For £129 Million

Everyone will know doubt believe Geordies around the globe will be waking up this morning red eyed through tears of dismay or anger with relegation confirmed. I can tell you only some will be, not all.

We are in this situation (again!) ultimately because of one man and one man only, Mike Ashley. His decisions or sometimes lack of decisions over his entire reign have been an absolute abomination. 9 years of total nonsense with a staggering season in the middle in 2011/12.

If Newcastle is ever to get back to what it once was then he needs to go. Its truly as simple as that. So with this FACT, would surviving relegation this year have been the best thing for the club? In true Rafa style, I argue not.

FACT: Relegation only hurts Mike Ashley. He owns the thing. Its his asset.

FACT: He is only still here after 9 years of misery to promote his tin pot sports company through Premier League audiences. Being in the Championship destroys his only reason of owning our proud club. So why would he stay?

FACT: Newcastle Utd is now worth a lot less then it would be in the Premier League, as of next season especially, so finding a buyer at a decent price is a lot more realistic. The £129million debt Ashley has seems about right as the figure to get rid of him. He cant expect a profit. Get his money back and move on.

FACT: He placed the club up for sale for £80 million back in 2009 after the last relegation so has shown he is willing to sell up and leave for good.

FACT: With this in mind, £129 million for NUFC can only be seen as an absolute bargain. Put it this way, an Iranian Investor has just purchased 49.9% of Everton for a reported £100million. Two American Investors have purchased 18% each of Crystal Palace & are looking to spend up to £150 million on the stadium and have already pumped in £50million in capital.

FACT: If Newcastle had survived, we would no doubt be stuck with Mike Ashley for a very, very long time so we would only have to endure his nonsense decision making for the rest of our lives.

FACT: We will never, ever, reach our potential under his ownership. With Rafa or without Rafa. Relegation can bring an end to his tenure a lot quicker.

FACT: The club will never die.

Rafa may stay or he may go. His choice, we will accept it either way.

What we wont accept is Mike Ashley hiring people like Lee Charnley, Derek Llambias or Joe Kinnear.

Who in turn hire people like Steve McClaren, John Carver, Alan Pardew or Joe Kinnear.

Who in turn hire people like Flaurin Thauvin, Remy Cabella, Emmanuel Riviere, Henri Saivet, Yoan Gouffran, Siem De Jong, Seydou Doumbia, Daryl Janmaat, Moussa Sissoko, Papiss Cisse, Cheick Tiote or Joe Kinnear.

Championship football may be the soul destroying chemotherapy that eventually gets rid of the giant tumour that is Mike Ashley. No matter how long it takes. We will have to endure to finally be rid of him for good.

Today could be the start of the end of Mike Ashley's reign of terror and we have Sunderland to thank.

Believe That.

Follow me @ToonBano

Wednesday, 9 March 2016

Newcastle Isn't Ran Like A Football Club. Its Ran By Yes Men!

For all those wondering in total amazement why Newcastle haven't sacked McClaren yet, the simple answer is because they are not ran as a normal traditional football club.

99% of people see a football club ran as the following: Hire a manager, manager does very badly, manager is sacked - almost purely based on ability of manager and team results.

Newcastle isn't ran like this. The powers that be don't want someone who asks questions or challenges them. They want a 'Yes Man'. That's the main criteria anyone is ever hired at NUFC whether it be in the board room or dugout.

Why do you think Alan Pardew was first brought in after being sacked by a League One team, remained in charge after dreadful seasons, dreadful results and dreadful PR situations?? Because he did what was told and NEVER moaned about it in public. He never demanded transfer money or players to be replaced. Exactly what Ashley, and whoever his 'Yes Man' chairman at the time happens to be, want. Pards headbutted a player for crying out loud!

Why do you think John Carver was put in charge last season and lasted for as long as he did despite losing every single game (practically)?? Because he wouldn't demand anything. Not from his employers anyway. 

Why do you think Joe Kinnear was brought in from the total footballing wilderness....TWICE?! Was he qualified for either role? No, of course not. But Ashley knew him, knew he wouldn't moan at the unbelievable job he had been given, so in he came to total bemusement from everyone.

Looking at it from another way;

Why do you think Joey Barton has his contract ripped up a few years back? Because he questioned the club.
Why do you think the unreal talent of Ben Arfa had his contract ripped up? Because he questioned the manager.
Why was Jonas Gutierrez released after saving them from relegation and overcoming cancer? Because his cancer caused 'an issue' they would much rather not deal with.

Which sums up the way Newcastle Utd football club is ran. The owner and board members don't want to have to make decisions. They don't want the responsibility. The last thing they want or need is to actually have to deal with something.

This is why Mac is still in a job. This is why they put him on the board to begin with. Why is the manager on the board? Do they want him to do everything? The one thing he cant do is manage the football team which causes them a major issue. How the hell can we find someone else who will be able to manage the team but yet not ask us any questions or make any demands....??

This is the mindboggling conundrum the CEO and Ashley find themselves in. The last thing in the world they want to do now is bring in an actual good qualified manager. An outsider. A rogue to their 'Yes Man' party.

Benitez, Moyes, Rodgers = unknown, untrustworthy.

NUFC literally don't have clue what to do right now so will probably just do nothing and wait to see if McClaren can get a result at Leicester.

Jose Mourinho himself could drive up to St James Park, do an interview with Sky Sports News out of his car window declaring he is here to save the day and Lee Charnley will pretend he isn't in and refuse to open his office door.

Charnley: Brenda....! No more calls. Im at lunch!
Brenda: Again?

NUFC is not a football club as we know it. The whole footballing world needs to wake up to this fact.

Follow me on Twitter @ToonBano

Sunday, 6 March 2016

Steve McClaren Is No Manager. He's Nothing But A Snide, Gutless, Conman

I've been pretty quiet on the blogging front this season with my many other committments but given our clubs plight, I've woken up. As an aspiring coach myself, I was all for Steve McClaren coming in as I thought he would create a well coached team with a sense of purpose and identity. How wrong I was. Steve McClaren may have all the coaching badges and experience in the world however when it comes to being a manager, he is nothing short of a conman.

His press conferences and interviews after pathetic performances week after week are staggering. I have never known such lack of standards in all my life. He has stated in 8 out of 10 interviews after every defeat claiming we played well. Now he either believes this nonsense or he is given us all the cheap insurance salesman 'sell' to let us know that 'everything's fine'. Neither wash. Big time.

Only now has he come out after 28 games of a totally forgettable inept season and openly turned on his players. The only reason he is doing this is because the fans have openly turned on him. Talk about gutless. The snide arrogance of the man is impossible to stomach. He comes across as slimy when he is being complimentary so you can only imagine what he is like when he isn't. His smirk complete with ridiculous tuft of hair he insist on having makes you sick.

How he still looks at himself in the mirror and calls himself a Head Coach takes some doing. Perhaps 'Coach' is the key word as even he doesn't have the nerve to call himself a 'Manager'. He doesn't have the balls to take on the responsibility of what being a manger is all about. If he did, we wouldn't be in this position. We would either be higher up in the table or he would have quit by now. Hiding behind thee tag of Head Coach keeps his focus on the training field...not St James Park where it counts.

When things go wrong his solution is to 'sort it out on the training ground'. I'm not saying this
is wrong, as many coaches/managers do this, but these other managers always have the primary focus of fixing the problems for the match day performance. Not just to coach the solution at the training ground and declare 'job done, its fixed'. Not at any point have Newcastle Utd fixed anything on the training pitch for the match day performance as we haven't improved in ANY department of the team. If anything we have been getting worse all season. This latest Bournemouth showing proves it.

Not at any stage did we look like winning. We don't defend properly, create enough chances or take the few chances we do create. We haven't all season. That's why we are the worst team outside of Aston Villa. Newcastle Utd are in 19th place in the Premier League after 28 games. We have 24 points. We have never been on this situation before in my lifetime. Even when we went down in 2009 we had more points and were hovering outside the bottom three. This season is a shambles.

Now let me repeat my earlier point of the manager, not Head Coach but managers press interviews this season. 8 times out of 10 he has stated we played well. He even said it last week after Stoke. He said after we had one shot on target in the 93rd minute that we showed fight and quality. He even said it after the Bournemouth game we need to get back to the Stoke performance. What is this man on? Is he actually being serious? Does he have any standards as a manager or what?

No self respecting football manager would even dare claim to have been playing well when you're 19th in the league, fail to score a goal week after week after week after week and show no quality whatsoever. He is a nothing but a conman. He has never been a football manager. Especially in the Premier League and even more at a club the size of Newcastle. Some journalist said he has been out of his depth since day one. I can't disagree. He has conned his way in and has been desperate to convince us all to stay. He's failed.

The performances on the pitch and results to go with it say everything you need to know. Even the most clueless gullable human being can look at the league table and realise things aren't 'going well'. This gutless pretender needs to be removed from his position of huge power and replaced with a genuine Manager who takes responsibility for his and his teams actions on the pitch. Coaches coach Monday to Friday, Managers do this but also manage Saturday and Sunday. It's a 7 day a week job. Something McClaren doesn't have the stomach for.

He can go back to coaching, working with the FA, putting on coaching master classes, speaking to
young up and coming coaches all day long. I have no problem with that. Steve McClaren can teach me a coaching session or two no problem and I will be in his awe. However when it comes to managing a team, no thanks. I think I run my u12s better then he ever could and that is a scary thought considering he has my dream job.

Who to come in next is another question but I would take Benitez, Rodgers or even Moyes to give these lot a kick up the a**e and the true leadership they need. I really don't care which one as long as it's one of them, anyone else would be underwhelming and may not have the impact required. One thing is for sure, McClaren the pretender needs to go. Now.

We have a week till our next game at Leicester. We all know we will be turned over with this current regime so why pretend any longer?

Follow me on Twitter @ToonBano

Tuesday, 26 January 2016

Finally Official: Newcastle Agree £12million Deal For Andros Townsend

Newcastle have agreed a deal with Spurs of £12 million to bring the Andros Townsend saga to an end. He will no doubt sign a 5 and half year contract worth around £50k a week.

How he will get in the team is up for debate but it will most likely be in place of Ayoze Perez, who McClaren seems to have his doubts over for some bizarre reason that none of us can understand, on the left of a 4-2-3-1 formation with Wijnaldum in behind the misfiring Mitrovic.

Speaking of which, now that this transfer is finally done...can we get a striker now please?!

Image result for townsend
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