Wednesday, 9 March 2016

Newcastle Isn't Ran Like A Football Club. Its Ran By Yes Men!

For all those wondering in total amazement why Newcastle haven't sacked McClaren yet, the simple answer is because they are not ran as a normal traditional football club.

99% of people see a football club ran as the following: Hire a manager, manager does very badly, manager is sacked - almost purely based on ability of manager and team results.

Newcastle isn't ran like this. The powers that be don't want someone who asks questions or challenges them. They want a 'Yes Man'. That's the main criteria anyone is ever hired at NUFC whether it be in the board room or dugout.

Why do you think Alan Pardew was first brought in after being sacked by a League One team, remained in charge after dreadful seasons, dreadful results and dreadful PR situations?? Because he did what was told and NEVER moaned about it in public. He never demanded transfer money or players to be replaced. Exactly what Ashley, and whoever his 'Yes Man' chairman at the time happens to be, want. Pards headbutted a player for crying out loud!

Why do you think John Carver was put in charge last season and lasted for as long as he did despite losing every single game (practically)?? Because he wouldn't demand anything. Not from his employers anyway. 

Why do you think Joe Kinnear was brought in from the total footballing wilderness....TWICE?! Was he qualified for either role? No, of course not. But Ashley knew him, knew he wouldn't moan at the unbelievable job he had been given, so in he came to total bemusement from everyone.

Looking at it from another way;

Why do you think Joey Barton has his contract ripped up a few years back? Because he questioned the club.
Why do you think the unreal talent of Ben Arfa had his contract ripped up? Because he questioned the manager.
Why was Jonas Gutierrez released after saving them from relegation and overcoming cancer? Because his cancer caused 'an issue' they would much rather not deal with.

Which sums up the way Newcastle Utd football club is ran. The owner and board members don't want to have to make decisions. They don't want the responsibility. The last thing they want or need is to actually have to deal with something.

This is why Mac is still in a job. This is why they put him on the board to begin with. Why is the manager on the board? Do they want him to do everything? The one thing he cant do is manage the football team which causes them a major issue. How the hell can we find someone else who will be able to manage the team but yet not ask us any questions or make any demands....??

This is the mindboggling conundrum the CEO and Ashley find themselves in. The last thing in the world they want to do now is bring in an actual good qualified manager. An outsider. A rogue to their 'Yes Man' party.

Benitez, Moyes, Rodgers = unknown, untrustworthy.

NUFC literally don't have clue what to do right now so will probably just do nothing and wait to see if McClaren can get a result at Leicester.

Jose Mourinho himself could drive up to St James Park, do an interview with Sky Sports News out of his car window declaring he is here to save the day and Lee Charnley will pretend he isn't in and refuse to open his office door.

Charnley: Brenda....! No more calls. Im at lunch!
Brenda: Again?

NUFC is not a football club as we know it. The whole footballing world needs to wake up to this fact.

Follow me on Twitter @ToonBano

Sunday, 6 March 2016

Steve McClaren Is No Manager. He's Nothing But A Snide, Gutless, Conman

I've been pretty quiet on the blogging front this season with my many other committments but given our clubs plight, I've woken up. As an aspiring coach myself, I was all for Steve McClaren coming in as I thought he would create a well coached team with a sense of purpose and identity. How wrong I was. Steve McClaren may have all the coaching badges and experience in the world however when it comes to being a manager, he is nothing short of a conman.

His press conferences and interviews after pathetic performances week after week are staggering. I have never known such lack of standards in all my life. He has stated in 8 out of 10 interviews after every defeat claiming we played well. Now he either believes this nonsense or he is given us all the cheap insurance salesman 'sell' to let us know that 'everything's fine'. Neither wash. Big time.


Only now has he come out after 28 games of a totally forgettable inept season and openly turned on his players. The only reason he is doing this is because the fans have openly turned on him. Talk about gutless. The snide arrogance of the man is impossible to stomach. He comes across as slimy when he is being complimentary so you can only imagine what he is like when he isn't. His smirk complete with ridiculous tuft of hair he insist on having makes you sick.

How he still looks at himself in the mirror and calls himself a Head Coach takes some doing. Perhaps 'Coach' is the key word as even he doesn't have the nerve to call himself a 'Manager'. He doesn't have the balls to take on the responsibility of what being a manger is all about. If he did, we wouldn't be in this position. We would either be higher up in the table or he would have quit by now. Hiding behind thee tag of Head Coach keeps his focus on the training field...not St James Park where it counts.

When things go wrong his solution is to 'sort it out on the training ground'. I'm not saying this
is wrong, as many coaches/managers do this, but these other managers always have the primary focus of fixing the problems for the match day performance. Not just to coach the solution at the training ground and declare 'job done, its fixed'. Not at any point have Newcastle Utd fixed anything on the training pitch for the match day performance as we haven't improved in ANY department of the team. If anything we have been getting worse all season. This latest Bournemouth showing proves it.

Not at any stage did we look like winning. We don't defend properly, create enough chances or take the few chances we do create. We haven't all season. That's why we are the worst team outside of Aston Villa. Newcastle Utd are in 19th place in the Premier League after 28 games. We have 24 points. We have never been on this situation before in my lifetime. Even when we went down in 2009 we had more points and were hovering outside the bottom three. This season is a shambles.

Now let me repeat my earlier point of the manager, not Head Coach but managers press interviews this season. 8 times out of 10 he has stated we played well. He even said it last week after Stoke. He said after we had one shot on target in the 93rd minute that we showed fight and quality. He even said it after the Bournemouth game we need to get back to the Stoke performance. What is this man on? Is he actually being serious? Does he have any standards as a manager or what?

No self respecting football manager would even dare claim to have been playing well when you're 19th in the league, fail to score a goal week after week after week after week and show no quality whatsoever. He is a nothing but a conman. He has never been a football manager. Especially in the Premier League and even more at a club the size of Newcastle. Some journalist said he has been out of his depth since day one. I can't disagree. He has conned his way in and has been desperate to convince us all to stay. He's failed.

The performances on the pitch and results to go with it say everything you need to know. Even the most clueless gullable human being can look at the league table and realise things aren't 'going well'. This gutless pretender needs to be removed from his position of huge power and replaced with a genuine Manager who takes responsibility for his and his teams actions on the pitch. Coaches coach Monday to Friday, Managers do this but also manage Saturday and Sunday. It's a 7 day a week job. Something McClaren doesn't have the stomach for.

He can go back to coaching, working with the FA, putting on coaching master classes, speaking to
young up and coming coaches all day long. I have no problem with that. Steve McClaren can teach me a coaching session or two no problem and I will be in his awe. However when it comes to managing a team, no thanks. I think I run my u12s better then he ever could and that is a scary thought considering he has my dream job.

Who to come in next is another question but I would take Benitez, Rodgers or even Moyes to give these lot a kick up the a**e and the true leadership they need. I really don't care which one as long as it's one of them, anyone else would be underwhelming and may not have the impact required. One thing is for sure, McClaren the pretender needs to go. Now.

We have a week till our next game at Leicester. We all know we will be turned over with this current regime so why pretend any longer?

Follow me on Twitter @ToonBano


Tuesday, 26 January 2016

Finally Official: Newcastle Agree £12million Deal For Andros Townsend

Newcastle have agreed a deal with Spurs of £12 million to bring the Andros Townsend saga to an end. He will no doubt sign a 5 and half year contract worth around £50k a week.

How he will get in the team is up for debate but it will most likely be in place of Ayoze Perez, who McClaren seems to have his doubts over for some bizarre reason that none of us can understand, on the left of a 4-2-3-1 formation with Wijnaldum in behind the misfiring Mitrovic.

Speaking of which, now that this transfer is finally done...can we get a striker now please?!

Image result for townsend
 
 
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Tuesday, 29 September 2015

Carragher And Nevilles Patronising, Disrespectful Nonsense About Newcastle And Its Fans

Did many of you catch MNF last night and Carragher and Neville's ramblings about Newcastle?
 
As a Toon fan I tuned in to witness one of two things. Chelsea being heavily criticised or Newcastle being heavily praised. However I did not expect Newcastle to be heavily criticised, mocked, disrespected and patronised to an extent I am still trying to sink into my brain a day later.
 
When asked if McClarens quote of 'this is the benchmark now' was correct. Carragher bluntly said 'NO' and then spent 5 mins 'explaining' how Newcastle's tactics were negative and not how they could play against the likes of Watford as the fans would go crazy in the stands.
 
Words can not describe how much nonsense this drivel is as what seems totally lost on @Carra23 is that Watford would not turn up to St James' with the quality of players Chelsea have and play such attack minded, possession dominating football. Or is that too obvious?
 
Plus its obvious what McClaren meant by 'benchmark' as in the desire, the fight, the pressing, the much better defending, the brilliant centre forward play from Mitrovic and in many aspects the brave, confident football being played.
 
For him then to drag out the 'stats' from the Newcastle game vs Watford and basically declare they played better against Watford then Chelsea is perhaps the biggest misuse of stats to form whatever point he was attempting to make I have ever witnessed. Seriously what exactly was his point? The game was totally different as Watford had a 2 goal lead, which they then defended. Which is what we had vs Chelsea. Again, have I missed something obvious?
 
The best part was left to GNev who came in with the words 'I agree' for then to totally contradict and to talk the complete opposite of what Carragher was waffling on about (still to this day dont know what it was). Here are some bullet points of G Nev's 1 minute cameo.
 
- The fans need to get out of the mentality of the mid 90's
- To play 4-2-4 against the lesser teams is disrespectful
- They need to do what Pulis, Pardew at Palace etc do and start from the back and counter teams.
- The fans need re-educating but do you think the management can do that?
 
At this point my jaw was on the floor. Not only has he completely contradicted everything Carragher went on about, in agreement dont forget, however he uses the Chelsea game as a tool to completely patronise and mock the fans of Newcastle Utd. All of which using no evidence whatsoever to back up his claims. Since when have we played 4-2-4 this season? We had Siem De Jong in as a false number 9 against Sheff Wed and had one shot on goal. Thats why we lost.
 
The less I say about 'the fans need re-educating' the better. I think it speaks for itself for what kind of opinion The Nev has about Geordies. Disgusting doesnt cover it. If anyone needs re-educating its him on the Newcastle fans. Not the fans on the their own team.
 
I like Carragher and GNev and watch MNF on a regular basis but their incredible disregard, total lack of respect and most importantly lack of any actual knowledge about this 'wee north east club' and its fans is nothing short of ridiculous. They get paid to talk about 20 Premier League clubs. Not the ones they like or respect. ALL 20. Get off your high horse and do some homework. Maybe speak to a Geordie now and again, they wont hurt you. Honest.
 
I still cant get over it. Last night had to be seen, recorded, rewound and watched again to be believed...and even then I cant believe the levels of total ignorance and disrespect.
 
I swear they either made it up as they went along, totally contradicting the previous sentence they had just used or it was the greatest scripted comedy writing I have ever heard.

Full quotes can be read here
 
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Friday, 3 July 2015

Newcastle Gamble Bringing Mario Balotelli On Loan Is Totally Worth It

There have been recent rumours around Newcastle bringing in everyone's favourite nutcase Mario Balotelli. Which apparently have been swiftly denied by new boss Steve McClaren. Most would be relieved at no entertainment of such a move given his baggage and total lack of productivity for Liverpool last season. But should it be? If we were to take a massive gamble on Balotelli in the shape of a season long loan with the option to cancel it at anytime...it would surely be totally worth it with what we could get in return?

He does crazy things. He doesn't always deliver on the pitch. He always delivers off the pitch. Having mental Mario consistently on the Toon every other weekend has guaranteed misdemeanors written all over it. But so what? The lad can be class on his day and if we were to show him 100% faith he could respond in a very positive fashion. People like Balotelli just need love and no fans in the country love a centre forward more than the Geordies. It could be a match made in heaven.

Let me put it another way. Emmanuel Riviere arrived for the sum of £6 million and scored the eye watering total of one league goal all season. ONE. Now Balotelli did the same for Liverpool, however there is no doubt whatsoever which one has more talent. We could never be in the market for a high flying Balotelli but a misfiring one could be our chance to pounce. I mentioned that Balotelli is guaranteed to create headlines off the field but I cant actually remember too many from last season so maybe he has toned down slightly.

Given the relief of not having the Liverpool glare from all pundits and ex players off his back and having a solid first team spot in the Black and White could be exactly what he needs. He could relish in the admiration and worship Toon fans bestow on their goalscorers like no other. For the sake of a loan move, for me this seemingly far fetched story should have more legs then it seems.

No Newcastle fan can tell me if Mario Balotelli raked up outside the ground to sign for us we
wouldn't welcome him with open arms, intrigue and a little bit of excitement. There will be doubters, of course, but if he were to smash one in on his debut those doubters would become very quiet quite quickly. We haven't had a consistent league campaign for three years so turning our noses up at Balotelli's lack of consistency would be rich to say the least. At least he is entertaining.

We can't do much worse then what we have to offer up front as it stands. QPR wanting £15 million for Charlie Austin is somewhat obscene. The Bas Dost deal is dragging its heels. All we want from this season going forward is excitement. Mario Balotelli provides that. He is still only 24, so if we were to bring him in on loan, have a couple of clauses in there to either cut it short if it goes pair shaped or a nominal fee to make it permanent if he is a revelation.

Bring him in I say. Got nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Follow on Twitter @ToonBano