Wednesday, 5 March 2014

New Newcastle Kit For Any Season, Any Era, CampoRetro Bernabeu

Campo Retro Bernabeu 'NUFC' Shirt

Calling all Toon Fans and budding footballers. I've recently got my hands on the Campo retro 'Newcastle Style' football shirt and have been asked to write a review of it. It is officially the 'Bernabeu' jersey black and white but it's pure Toon to me and you.

First off the shirt is a dead ringer for a classic Toon shirt and is defo my first choice of any shirt, never mind the black and white, for my 5 a side/Sunday league team. The shirt is quality. None of this cheap, fake looking tripe you get when you rock up for a kick about with your mates from work. All it's missing is the club badge itself and it will win hands down over the '98 disgrace which even Freddie claimed to be 'cheap'.

Campo developed it from their Azteca shirt, Bernabeu has the additional stylized collar. The difference between the collar and it's period counterparts from the 70's is that it stays up, courtesy of a special striped stand inside the neck. Ala Ginola...not Cantona.

If you need to have the badge on there then you can. They have designed the Stadio range to be customised to your favourite team with a neat little Campo branded pin badge housing on the hem. You can now proudly show off any pin badge you like, safe in the knowledge that you won't damage your shirt...I assume it will be the correct badge you stick on and not some Juventus homage!

Seriously despite the sales talk this shirt is class. Campo were great enough to send me one for free just to review it and I'm not lying when I say it is quality. It fits any season, any era, I love it.

I've stuck a link to the shirt below for you to have a gander. You will never need to buy another shirt ever again, or should that be every season for £40, as the design of it is pure black and white stripes. Unmistakable. I'm gonna be wearing mine for a very long time. Perfect next time I go for a kick about...or maybe just a pint instead. Click below

Campo Retro Bernabeu 'NUFC' Shirt









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Pardew To Recieve 10 Game Ban And Sit Out The Season

Unbelievable scenes down at the KC Stadium on Saturday as Newcastle ran out easy 4-1 winners however this fantastic result was totally overshadowed by Alan Pardew being sent off for an apparent headbutt of a Hull City player. Now those are words I never thought I would be writing. Newcastle manager headbutts a player...what?!

The FA will no doubt make an example of Pardew which will most likely be a 10 game ban minimum, basically the rest of the season, for this ridiculous incident not the least for being involved in touchline incidents in the past. He pushed a linesman for not giving a throw in last season and he was caught on camera shouting "you old ****" at Man City boss Pelegrinni a few weeks ago. This latest incident tops the lot however as a Premier League manager throwing a headbutt at an opposition player during a game is beyond unacceptable. It's shameful.

What on earth goes on in Pardews head sometimes is beyond me and that is just his managerial decisions or his baffling media quotes. I never thought he would stoop as low as fancying himself that much to throw a headbutt at a player just because he pushed him out the way as he retrieved the ball on the sidelines. I knew Pardew was a an arrogant tw@ but this is astounding. What has turned my stomach even more is his attitude towards the whole thing afterwards.

He immediately came out onto Sky Sports and did an interview to explain what he had done. Sickeningly he tried to typically make light of the situation and actually make a joke about it. "I won't be standing on the touch line any more that's for sure" he smirkingly came out with. Yes Alan, you don't know how right you may be...

After he pushed a linesman last season he expressed himself in the exact same fashion with underlying arrogance as he made total light of the fact he placed his hands on an official and physically pushed him as he carried out his work. He got away with that one cheaply but he certainly won't be getting away with this one as lightly. The FA are expected to throw the book at Pardew big time and I for one hope they do. Big time. The action by NUFC on this makes me ashamed. Formal warning...are you having a laugh?!

This latest incident may seem like a joke to some fans but Newcastle Utd Football Club will be making headlines across the world for all the wrong reasons over this. Managers headbutting players is a thing of make believe, not reality. Ive seen managers kick each other on the sidelines or give one of there own players a little slap in the dug out in places like Italy but for a manager to physically attempt to attack an opposition player with a headbutt, especially in the Premier League, is beyond belief.

Once again our Football club is a laughing stocking in the footballing world and I never thought it would be because of something like this. I thought I had seen it all with our own players fighting on the pitch with Dyer & Bowyer plus the endless shambles Mike Ashley has been responsible for but this latest embarrassment is very hard to take in. Pardew himself has caused me to choke on my cornflakes once before in the past as casually had motd 2 on one Sunday evening, as described Michael Essien of 'raping a player' with a strong challenge.

For me the FA will most likely give Pardew a 10 game ban which is basically a ban until the end of the season. In my wildest dreams I was hoping Ashley would relieve Pardew of his duties for gross misconduct which would avoid having to pay him a massive amount of money for merely sacking him. But no, a fine and a warning is all he got. Pardew has no class whatsoever and neither does Ashley. What does Pardew have to do to get the sack then?? Kill somebody?!

The FA should rightfully come down hard on our shameful manager. Assaulting a player and still carrying on his role can surely not look good for them and more importantly, will definitely not look good for our club. Newcastle acting so quickly has pretty much stopped any chance of the
FA giving our club decision makers an ultimatum in sacking Pardew which is probably the whole reason behind it. Crafty buggers our lot.

We won't be able to shift this cockney nutter it seems no matter what he does. Ruin the team, drag the club down or assault somebody. Do what you want Al...you can not be sacked.

Follow me on Twitter @ToonBano

Tuesday, 4 February 2014

Sacked Michael Laudrup Lined Up For Newcastle Utd Hot Seat

Michael Laudrup has just been sacked as Swansea manager. Shocker I know. From winning a major trophy for the Welsh team, from Swansea having fears he would leave them in the summer for a bigger club, to now actually sacking him. They have been on a shocking run since the League Cup win but a club like Swansea don't sack a manager like Laudrup. They're mad. They were lucky to have him.

The next club who appoint him will also be lucky and Newcastle Utd should be first in line. If Mike Ashley has any sense whatsoever in that fat head of his he will finally get rid of the insufferable immovable object in Pardew and bring in one the most highly rated young managers in the game. There is no reason not to. Whatever it will cost to sack Pards, the club will save on not having to pay any compensation as Laudrup is obviously available for nowt. So cost can not come into it.

Even if it did, we have just made £20 million from selling our best player and haven't bothered to replace him so I don't really give a flying ****. Send Pardew back down to London and get Michael Laudrup in. He will give what this football club is crying out for. Ambition and talent with a playing style we we can all get on board with. The choice of Pardew's cowardly lump it up to Shola, to Laudrup's courageous let's get it down and pass it around is a non contest.

If we do not take advantage of this amazing unexpected opportunity I will be sick to my stomach. One major stumbling block for any potential manager coming in was working under the ultimate director of f***all in Joe Kinnear, so seeing as that useless lump has shifted off by his own accord, the timing of this Laudrup sacking couldn't be better. Get yourself some balls Ashley and make a decision that would be popular with the masses and not just with your little cockney clique.

Get Pardew out. Get Laudrup in. There is no compensation to pay. There is no Joe Kinnear or any DOF above him to undermine his position. I can't see Laudrup turning down a club like ours at this stage of his career, especially after being sacked at Swansea. He has half a season to do what he wants and mould the team in his own image without any fears of going down. He can work out who the deadwood is to get rid of and target who to bring in. Him and Graham Carr could be a Dream Team given the signings he has made. Michu for £2 million?...that's a Graham Carr special.

Do the right thing Ashley. You can't be completely useless....can you??!!

#LaudrupToNewcastle

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Monday, 5 August 2013

Official: Loic Remy Is A Newcastle Player...6 months Later!

So 6 months after agreeing a fee with with Marseille, Loic Remy has passed his medical and is a Newcastle Utd player...those London passport checks take a hell of a long time. Of course Remy has spent that time either playing for the worst team in the league at the time or sitting in the treatment room, all for the sake of £80k a week. Now he will be at the club he should have always signed for back in January (if he had any sense) and hopefully just walks past the treatment room door without ever walking in.

He is on loan with a fee in the region of £2 million quid going towards his London hijackers. Now seeing as the fee we agreed to pay for him in January was £8 million and given his blatant injury history this deal has turned out for the best for us after all. QPR are in the Championship £6 million (plus big wages) worse off and we are getting him £6 million cheaper. If he is useless, send him back next year. If he is always injured, then leave him for QPR do deal with and keep up his massive earnings.

Hopefully Loic Remy will turn out to be class (plus injury free) and we have ourselves a hitman capable of banging them in for fun to then sign him permanently come next season. A fee of which is supposed to be agreed of around what QPR paid for him in January. This loan deal of 'try before you buy' sits well with me. We have a gut wrenching history of permanently signing overpaid big time charlies and being unable to shift them from our wage bill.

This signing is Joe Kinnear's first and hopefully not the last this summer. It boosts our shockingly light attacking threat and on the face of it gives our forward line a nice balance. If we are to play with a 3 pronged attack, then Remy on the left, Cisse down the middle and Benny on the right is a force to be reckoned with for any Premier League defence. Hopefully we have another option at least in the CF role in the face of Bafetimbi Gomis, or on a lesser note Darren Bent.

Papiss Cisse just isn't reliable enough to hang your hat on as your out and out centre forward for a whole
season. He loves the spectacular but also blatantly standing offside in good positions unnecessarily. Obviously Remy can also play down the middle with Gouffran playing down the left but a new shiny centre forward is still needed in my eyes. Gomis would be perfect. Why we didn't at least try to sign him in January on a pre-contract for free or 'do a Sissoko' and get him on the cheap was beyond me at the time...now we're offering £7-£8 million it's even more beyond my logic.

Nevertheless Loic Remy is 'over the line' and the sooner he is joined by someone else the better. Gossip of some of our bigger players leaving our club have gone stone cold, so if we add one or two more, we have a decent enough team to at least threaten to do something special. A domestic cup challenge would be nice and a run for Europe again is always a good thing...but let's not actually qualify though eh Pardew? It's nothing but a crippling season destroyer!

Our team of French speakers continues to grow. If Gomis does join Remy at Le Toon then it may be worth Joe Kinnear signing an interpreter for Alan Pardew (and one for himself might also be an idea), who knows, he might turn into the next Mourinho...even Sir Bobby's touch can help turn an interpreter into the world's greatest manager. What a legend.

Welcome Mr Remy to the French Revolution. If you get off to a good start and stay away from the treatment table then the fact you turned us down to join up with premier scumbag 'Arry Redknapp, seemingly for the money, then it may be forgotten or just remembered as something to look back on to laugh at. If not, this deal might not be as pretty as it seems right now.

So that's one in...who's next Joe?!

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Monday, 1 July 2013

Erm..........What?!

So we're selling James Perch?!........................................................................................................................................................................................................................



For a mighty£700k?!.........................................................................................................................................................................................................................




And he's going down into the Championship?!..............................................................................................................................................................................................................



Eh?!


Monday, 15 April 2013

Idiots Throwing Bottles And Punching Horses Are Not Newcastle Fans.

Anybody who started or got involved in any violent act whether it be throwing glass bottles at police, punching horses in the face or insinuated anything whatsoever just because we got beat by a bunch of mackems which happens once in a very shady blue moon just every now and then...is not a Newcastle United fan. End of story.

Give away your shirt, throw away your scarf and don't go anywhere near our ground ever again you brainless, moronic, embarrassing, complete and utter waste of a human life.

That's it.




Friday, 15 February 2013

Papiss Cisse Has Been Stood Offside ALL Season There Are No Excuses

Sir Alex Ferguson used to say about Filippo Inzaghi that he was 'born offside' well the same can be said about our number 9 Papiss Cisse. He has been unnecessarily caught offside time and time and time again this season and after last night's unbelievably frustrating 0-0 draw with Metalist this totally avoidable part of Cisse's game has finally came back to haunt us.

I should be writing this article talking about how we have the advantage going into the second leg with a lead and a clean sheet to our names sitting in prime position to get into the next round of the Europa League. Instead I am talking about how a linesman may or may not have robbed us of that scenario and how our misfiring striker managed to not get himself on the score sheet at least once.

Let's get something clear straight away, the linesman made a mistake when it came to Cisse's open goal tap in. Ironically it was Sissoko who broke through beating the offside trap with success only to see the linesman wrongly raise his flag as soon as he touched the ball. Maybe Moussa can teach Papiss a thing or two? We were robbed. The second of Cisse's 'goals' was marginal to say the least but it has to be said he was fractionally offside. Which is of no surprise to me whatsoever. Cisse has been offside all season long!

When will this lad learn? I have lost count of the amount of times he has been flagged for offside when we are in a good position. I understand he likes to play on the shoulder of defenders for the through ball but he has to learn how to hold his run. Sometimes he just blatantly runs 2 or 3 yards offside leaving it impossible for anyone to pass to him. What is he playing at? What is the manager and his staff playing at not fixing this? It isn't hard to rectify is it?

What can be easier for a player than to learn and change how and when he makes his runs and where he is stood on a football pitch? You should learn this 'knack' as a teenager. It's a basic part of being a centre forward. Everyone gets caught offside now and then, idiots get caught over and over again. I've liked Papiss ever since he stepped into St James' to smack one past Shay Given on his debut but this being constantly offside is infuriating.

We have somewhat tolerated it up to this point as he has got himself on the score sheet vs Everton and Villa but after this Metalist debacle my patience has ran out. I am going to go on record and say that I think we are out of the Europa League after drawing 0-0. I think all of those missed chances will definitely come back to haunt us next week. Kharkiv looked like a decent team with the ball and in their own stadium they will be certainly a much stronger force to handle.

The clean sheet is the only thing we can hold on to and if we were to score the first goal in the second leg then we would have a decent chance of going through on at least away goals. But seeing how we failed to even turn up at Bordeaux and failed to win at the likes of Bruges and part timers Maritimo, to go to Ukraine and come back with a result is a big ask. We only have one away win in all competitions after all. We had to win last night in my eyes and we failed. You can blame the linesman all day but we created 3 or 4 clear cut chances and failed to score.

Every Cisse chance he missed was easier than the last. One on one with the keeper is never a foregone conclusion but you would expect the striker to put it away and not just hit it straight into the keeper. The cut back from Santon 6 yards out from goal should have seen the back of the net but again Papiss struck it straight into the keeper. The worst one of the lot was in the last minute of injury time. How the hell did that header not find the net?

He was in the perfect position, point blank in front of goal, looking straight at the corner of the net he needed to find. But yet he heads it into the keeper giving him the chance to get his hand on it to keep it out. That was a terrible miss. I would expect any player you can think of to have put that away whether they are a striker or not. Just put it in and we can take some satisfaction of a 1-0 last minute win and (almost) all is forgiven. That failure to score could prove to be fatal.

Derek Llambias said the other day that we have replaced Demba Ba in this January transfer window. Is he having a laugh? I hate to say it but if Demba was in our team last night we would be heading to Metalist with a healthy lead. We definitely need someone to come in who can at least a) score from 6 yards out and b) knows how to stay onside. Cisse is a good striker but he is not a reliable one I am afraid. Gouffran can make the LW position his own but we need more options up front.

All is not lost and I have no doubt my mood will be a lot more optimistic next week before the second leg but my feelings are that we have shot ourselves in the foot a few times too much which will come back to bite us on the arse big time. What a missed opportunity.

Have faith!

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